I was recently at a local coffee shop sipping on my drink that I had paid way too much for, when I overheard a conversation that inspired this blog post. To make a long story short, a young man and woman were discussing the current “trend” of Christian college students getting engaged and married off the minute after they received their diplomas. The woman vowed that she would never settle down so early and that she wanted to make something of herself before she brought another person into the mix. She wanted to travel, see the world, and have a career before she found herself barefoot and pregnant. I had to laugh a little as I walked out of the coffee shop and glanced down at my engagement ring. It amazed me how our views on marriage were so different.
I want to first start off by saying that everyone’s story is different. The author of our lives never tells the same story twice. Some get married young and some wait until the timing is perfect. Others want to get married young but can’t seem to find that perfect catch. Statistics, however, tell us that those who marry young have a higher success rate in being happy and a lower chance of getting divorced. Why is this? Many speculate that when two people are young and just starting out in life, they cling to one another. There is no successful career, no separate bank accounts, and no fight over which apartment to sell. Everything is new, the floor plans for the building have just been drawn. My fiancé once put it this way. We can spend our twenties on ourselves, going from one relationship to the other, seeing beauty but having no one to share it with or we can invest in one person and build a life together.
With all that being said, and in all due respect to the strangers in the coffee shop, here are the reasons I will be getting married at age 22
- I HAVE FOUND THE ONE WHOM MY SOUL LOVES
It’s hard to explain this to those of you who have not found your life-long partner in crime, but all I can say is that when you know…you know. My future husband is not perfect but he is absolutely one hundred percent perfect for me. Everything that I lack he has and every gift and ability I possess, he encourages. When you find someone that makes you better and brings you peace you have got to grab ahold of that person. A former roommate of mine once said, “He will either push you closer to Christ or closer to himself.” It’s a very rare thing to find a man of God who wants nothing more than for you to become spiritually stronger, even if that means putting his needs below yours. I say all this because sometimes life is messy, the timing isn’t right, or complications arise but when you find the one whom your soul loves it doesn’t matter what age you are—all that matters is making sure you never let them go.
- I WANT TO SHARE MY LIFE
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve heard “Are you sure you don’t want to do anything more with your life before you get married?” There is this idea in our culture that life ends after marriage. Any adventure that I want to have, any accomplishments that I strive to achieve, or any crazy mistake I want to have needs to happen before I say “I Do.” I would argue that any adventure, accomplishment, or mistake will be a thousand times more meaningful, joyful, and impactful if I share it with my husband. Scripture tells us that we were not meant to walk alone. Our creator created Eve to help Adam and Vis versa. My life is not ending, it’s only just beginning and how wonderful that I get to share every important moment of my life with someone who loves me with no conditions. How wonderful that all of his big moments will be mine as well.
- I HAVE FOUND THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN
Last semester I took a chemistry class and one of the lectures was focused on pregnancy. My professor explained all the harmful things to be aware of staying away from when pregnant. She also went on to say that women’s bodies are the most fertile and the most likely to produce a healthy delivery and child when a woman is in her twenties. I raised my hand and said, “So what you’re saying is that God is practically telling us to have children when we’re young.” She laughed sheepishly and said “well no, I very much enjoyed my twenties as a single and childless woman.” This idea that children need to come later in life, and that they need to be few and far between has only recently been a part of our way of thinking. Since the beginning of time children have always been seen as a blessing. In fact, scripture condemns those who try to have their cake and eat it too (Genesis 38:8-10). Marriage is a covenant, and part of that covenant is the gift of life. Getting married and having children young has its perks and I am so excited to share the wonderful blessing of being parents with my husband in the future.
Whether your story is similar to mine or maybe polar opposite, I hope this sheds some light on those crazy kids committing their lives to one another. Yes, we’re taking some risks, and no this life isn’t always going to be easy but we’re jumping feet first into an adventure that will last a lifetime.